Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Joey Logano — Logano dashed to the win at Las Vegas, holding off Penske Racing teammate Brad Keselowski for his first Cup win in Vegas.
“I knew Brad was going to make a run,” Logano said. “He’s so good at making those race-winning passes. I saw him in my mirror and though, ‘Uh oh.’ Anytime you look in the mirror and see Brad Keselowski, it’s bad news, especially if you’re Brad Keselowski.”
2. Brad Keselowski — Keselowski, looking for his second straight win, finished second at Las Vegas to Penske teammate Joey Logano.
“That’s right,” Keselowski said. “I finished second. So, for the second consecutive week, I ‘went No. 2’ in my car.”
3. Kyle Busch — Busch’s quest for a weekend sweep ended with a third in the Pennzoil 400.
“I blew any chance of winning when I was caught speeding on pit lane,” Busch said. “I’ll tell you this, though, the penalty for breaking the 45 miles per hour speed limit is much less severe when it happens on pit lane as opposed to a highway in Iredell County, North Carolina.”
4. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin finished 10th at Las Vegas.
“Other than those for the ends of stages,” Hamlin said, “there wasn’t a single caution during the race. And that made for a very boring race. Just ask television viewers. The TV ratings are in, and Sunday’s race rolled ‘snake eyes.'”
5. Kevin Harvick — Harvick led a race-high 88 laps and finished fourth in the Pennzoil 400.
“We dominated Stage 1,” Harvick said. “After that, the handling just went south. And with NASCAR’s new rules package, my battle with my steering wheel may have been the best action of the day in Vegas.”
6. Martin Truex Jr. — Truex finished eighth at Las Vegas, recording his second top-10 of the year. He is eighth in the Monster Energy Cup points standings.
“I’m not sure if NASCAR’s new rules package made that much of a difference,” Truex said. “But it’s a start.
7. Kurt Busch — Busch finished fifth at Las Vegas and is 10th in the points standings.
“I’m a Las Vegas native,” Busch said. “So it’s always hard to leave this place. When I leave Vegas, it’s like I leave a little piece of me behind, which was also the case when I had ear-reduction surgery in 2006.”
8. Kyle Larson — Larson took 12th in the Pennzoil 400 at Las Vegas and is now sixth in the Monster Energy Cup points standings.
“Those guys from Hendrick Motorsports are at it again,” Larson said. “They’re ‘playing games.’ Only this time, it’s in the casino.”
9. Ricky Stenhouse Jr. — Stenhouse finished eighth at Las Vegas, posting his first top-10 of the year.
“Erik Jones and I had a heated battle for position at one point in the race,” Stenhouse said. “Over the radio, he told me to ‘stop being a dumb ass.’ I responded by saying, ‘I dated Danica Patrick. You can use real profanity.'”
10. Erik Jones — Jones finished 13th in the Pennzoil 400 at Las Vegas.
“My Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Kyle Busch just signed a contract extension,” Jones said. “Kyle’s had some big wins in his illustrious career, but this is his latest ‘signature’ win.”