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Posted on June 13, 2007
Top of My Head –
Pocono 500, Part II
Head-Scratchers, Frog Stranglers, and
Spicoli the Cable Guy
When last we left our
intrepid heroine (I guess being a
Sterling fan she would be a Monte or
Impala heroine, depending on the track),
she and her guests had managed to
weather the weather and were just
sitting back to enjoy the race, some
food, and more good company.
At this point, LDG found
the three meerkats that live on my
coffee table. Sorry to disappoint you,
they aren’t REAL meerkats, just little
toy ones, and it so happened that those
were things that I didn’t mind LDG
making off with. She paraded around,
chewed on their heads, then sat down,
stared at the cars going around and
around, and abruptly began clapping her
hands at the sight of the Number 24
car. Her mother thought this was very
amusing. Virginia and I began waving
and hooting and shouting “Yay Sterling!”
until LDG got the idea and clapped a
couple of times halfheartedly before
turning her attention back to the
meerkats.
My son, the master of the
grill, brought in two platters of meat,
some chicken and some steaks that were
supposed to be ribs, but I learned that
my husband can’t read. I told him to
bring chicken and ribs out of the
freezer and just assumed he did. Once
more I learned I should never assume. I
didn’t mind serving the steaks, but this
brought another problem to the
forefront. I’d never served steaks to
so many people at one meal, and I
discovered that after being married for
almost 35 years all but two of my steak
knives had disappeared. But this just
improved the camaraderie as we
cheerfully shared the knives and
returned to the TV with our plates just
in time to see Robby Gordon’s car
scattering parts all over the track,
bringing out a caution. This was not
surprising. There is SUPPOSED to be a
caution when a car is scooting down the
track behaving like a fertilizer
spreader.
Which was why the living
room positively erupted later in the
race when Jimmie Johnson’s car put on an
identical performance to the earlier one
by the 07, only difference being there
was NO caution. The booth boys said it
was because NASCAR threw a caution
earlier (for the 07) and didn’t want to
do it again because it was threatening
to rain again. Or something like that,
I’m still not sure. But it sure left me
scratching my head.
Well, the whole race had
gotten so disjointed with cautions,
non-cautions, pitting, not pitting, and
countdowns as to how far away the rain
was that I wasn’t even sure who was
leading. I strolled back to the
computer. One… small… green…spot, still
right over Long Pond. I heard one of
the drivers shouting that it was raining
in turn one. Anyone who’s never seen
Pocono in person would find that an odd
statement, but once you’ve seen it you
realize it is not only possible to have
different weather on different parts of
the track, but sometimes you begin to
think the three turns are in three
different time zones.
But alas, the only time
zone we were in at this point was the
“time’s running out” zone. The red flag
waved, and the track emptied. They had
run just a few laps over halfway, and
darkness was coming on quickly…
Suddenly there was a
knock at the door, and there was….
(DUM-DUM-DAAAAAAH!)
THE CABLE GUY!
He came in and started
checking things out, explaining what he
was doing in a voice that was so
familiar… so familiar…. That was it! I
kept waiting for “DUUUUUDDDDE!”
I had found Jeff Spicoli.
For those of you who don’t know Jeff, he
was an iconic surfer dude character
played by Sean Penn in “Fast Times at
Ridgemont High”. Now don’t get me
wrong, he was very knowledgeable and
capable, I just kinda wished he’d
sounded like, oh, Sean Connery, maybe…
Virginia, Ross and I
adjourned to the back room to another
television, but it was still raining on
that one, too, and Jeff Gordon was
rhapsodizing about how he hoped it would
continue raining. We settled in on the
couch just as Jeff Spicoli disconnected
the cable.
We just looked at one
another. The last thing we’d heard was
that they were getting out the jet
dryers, and I heard Wally Dallenbach say
something about “blowing up the track.”
I know what he MEANT (I think), but I
also know what it sounded like. I also
knew that there was no way this race was
going to start again.
So there we were, reduced
to staring at the live leaderboard on
the computer. We wandered back out into
the living room and stood in a
semicircle around Jeff Spicoli as he
detached and re-attached cables. LDG
was enchanted. Every time he pressed a
button and the little electronic box he
carried would beep or flash, she would
squeal and clap. Wonder if he’d ever
gotten applause for his work before.
I went back to the
computer. In our absence, a small
notice box had popped up on the screen:
“We Have A Winner! #24, Jeff Gordon.” I
returned to the living room just as the
TV flickered back to life to the image
of Jeff Gordon celebrating on pit road.
“Race’s been called.”
“Um.”
It was getting late,
beginning to get dark, and Ross and
Virginia had to get on the road.
Likewise, it was getting on to L’il
‘Dega Girl’s bedtime, so we all said our
goodbyes, including to Spicoli the cable
guy. And we all decided that despite
everything – or maybe BECAUSE of
everything – we’d actually had a good
time. It was great to watch the race
with another Sterling fan, and have
someone else to complain to when they
ignored him (for instance, how did his
fender get smashed? We’ll never know).
As quiet once again
settled on the house and I began picking
things up, I realized one of my meerkats
was missing. We upended chairs and
cushions, even checked the trash, but
the meerkat was nowhere to be found. By
this time I just wanted to get to bed…
it had been a long day, and I figured it
would turn up when it was good and
ready…
Fast forward to about 4
a.m. on Monday. For whatever reason, my
husband pokes me. “I found the meerkat.
It was in my pocket.”
“Oh, goody,” I mumbled,
rolled over… and realized it was
raining.
So CONGRATULATIONS to
Jeff Gordon and his whole team for their
victory in the Pocono 250 and change, if
for no other reason than it gave me the
chance to make some great new friends!
Virginia and Ross… I’m going out to buy
steak knives this weekend.
Wavin’ the Checkers for
Now…
ON TO MICHIGAN!
You can contact
Becky at
marlinmama@gmail.com
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