1. Kyle Busch: Busch led 415 of 500 laps in Bristol, but, continuing a recent trend of lap leaders who have failed to cash in for victory, was passed on lap 470 by Carl Edwards. Edwards muscled the #18 of Busch from the lead, and led the rest of the way for victory. Afterwards, on the cool-down lap, Busch bumped Edwards, who in turn spun Busch.
"First of all, I’ve got to apologize for referring to Edwards as ‘Mr. Ed-like,’" says Busch. "That statement was way out of line. Mr. Ed would never race me like that. If you think I would make a pass like Edwards' if I was trailing Mr. Ed, the answer's 'nay.' When Mr. Ed makes a pass, it's always clean. After all, he is a 'draft' horse."
"If Carl wants to start a rivalry, then so be it. That’s what this sport needs. This is NASCAR. I don’t care what England Dan and John Ford Coley say, ‘Love’ is not the answer. It’s ‘hate.’ Hate is the answer. I hate Carl. Carl hates me. And Earnhardt fans hate Carl and me. Carl may have had the last word, but I’m buying three vowels: ‘I, O, U.’ That’s right, Cousin Carl. ‘I owe you.’ You can ‘Rage Against The 18’ all you want. That’s cool. I love that band, anyway. I’ll see you in California, where you’ll be ‘feeling Minnesota.’"
2. Carl Edwards: Edwards made it two wins in a row, leaving Kyle Busch in second again, with a come-from-behind win in the Sharpie 500. Edwards stalked Busch for much of the race, taking the lead for good on lap 470 by bumping Busch out of the way in typical Bristol fashion. The win was Edwards' sixth of the year, and clinched his place in the Chase.
"Flippin’ A,’" says Edwards. "That’s how you pass at Bristol, especially when you’re behind a hardheaded Busch kid who wants to keep you at bay at all costs. He wasn't going to let me go by any other way. Busch had been marking his territory for 415 laps; it was time for me to mark mine. And the nerve of J.D. Gibbs saying to me 'You reap what you sow.' Who is he to tell me that? I’m not a farmer. Heck, Gibbs Racing has more cheats than a Play Station magazine. Their reaping all right---suspensions and fines."
"And speaking of 'marking one's territory,' I think R&B pervert/chronic urinator R.Kelly described my feelings best when he said, 'I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind.' I'm elated with the outcome. I'm like a kid in a candy store, as long as I'm in front of the kid in the candy car."
3. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson fell out of contention early, making contact with the car of Sterling Marlin and sliding into the wall on lap 26. After lengthy repairs, Johnson returned to the track in 43rd position, seven laps down, and eventually finished 33rd, 18 laps down.
"I know it looks like Busch and Edwards are making the Cup battle a two-man race," says Johnson. "But don’t you forget about me, hey, hey, hey, hey. Oooooh, ohhh. I’m the two-time defending Cup champion, so only those with simple minds would underestimate my ability to win the title. I'm formally announcing my intentions to crash the Busch-Edwards party. Shhhh. Don’t tell them, though. They might not be too amused to find themselves tangled in my little ‘ménage à trois.’"
4. Tony Stewart: Stewart finished eighth in Bristol, his 12th top-10 finish of the year, and held on to sixth in the point standings, a safe 190 ahead of 13th.
"Hey, I don’t mind losing a race to Carl Edwards," says Stewart. "But losing my gig as spokeman for Subway to Edwards—that really irks me. I did everything those Subway people wanted me to, except eat their food, keep my weight down, and refrain from using magnets for anything but noble purposes. And I don't know where Subway got off ordering me to stop wearing what they called the 'fat suit.' They didn't realize that was my Home Depot racing suit. Who cares if Edwards can do 300 push-ups. Heck, I can eat 300 Push-Ups."
"Now, if you really want insight into the life of Tony Stewart, check out the current issue of Rolling Stone, not to be confused with the piece on Aaron Fike in Rolling Stoned. Fike chases dragons, I chase ‘tail.’ For those of you who think I’m a fat, out-of-shape, womanizing, bad-mannered race car driver, then you need to read this article. It will confirm all of those things."
5. Jeff Gordon: Gordon started third in Bristol and was a fixture in the top 5 all night, but didn’t have the car to keep up with Kyle Busch and Carl Edwards, who collectively led all but one lap. That one stray lap was led by Gordon, on lap 48. It was Gordon's 11th top-10 finish of the year, a far cry from the 30 he logged last year.
"I’m not one to dwell on the past," says Gordon. "But boy, do I long for the days of Ray Evernham, a cheesy mustache, fan hatred, a failing marriage, and contention for wins. That was a recipe for success. Apparently, Steve Letarte has never read a cookbook."
6. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Just moments after the checkered flag flew, Earnhardt was penalized for jumping the start and passing cars before he crossed the start/finish line. He paid with a drive-through penalty, from which he never recovered, and finished 18th. Earnhardt advanced one spot in the points to third, 416 out of first.
"On the contrary," says Earnhardt. "I wasn’t trying to get a jump on the field. Tony Eury, Jr. had called me in to pit for a quick gas-and-go stop so we would have a early fuel advantage on everyone. The penalty is no big deal. I’ve had my share of drive-through penalties this year. In fact, any time Tony calls me in to pit, it’s pretty much a ‘drive-through penalty.’"
7. Matt Kenseth: After qualifying 25th, Kenseth faced an uphill battle to achieve a satisfactory result in Bristol. But he and the #17 DeWalt crew were up to the task, using timely adjustments and quick pit stops to crack the top 10 with a finish of ninth. Kenseth held on to the 10th position in the Sprint Cup point standings, with a 78 point edge on teammate David Ragan in 13th.
"It sure does get crowded in the Roush Fenway garage," says Kenseth. "Especially when Carl Edwards smiles. But the last thing Kyle Busch wants to do is make Mr. Ed, I mean Carl Edwards, angry. He wouldn't like Carl when he's angry. When Carl gets angry, he’s a threat to kick, I mean punch, you. But, on the positive side, Carl brings an unbridled enthusiasm to this sport, and if he doesn’t win the Cup title this year, he will reign soon enough. He’s been saddled with high expectations for quite some time. The truth is, he’s a thoroughbred in this sport."
8. Kevin Harvick: Harvick recorded his fourth consecutive top-10 finish, and second top 5 at Bristol this year, with a fourth in the Sharpie 500. Fighting a loose car early, Harvick and crew made the proper adjustments, and avoided any and all contact with Juan Montoya to score their tenth top 10 of the year.
"Changes are in the air at Richard Childress Racing," says Harvick. "Casey Mears is joining the team and will take over the #07 Jack Daniels ride, and Clint Bowyer will move to the #33 car, sponsored by Cheerios and Hamburger Helper. Clint's not too happy about that. He’s losing one of the most recognizable paint schemes and sponsor brands in the business. Sadly, he’s going from ‘Old’ No. 7 at the liquor store to ‘aisle’ number 7 at the grocery store."
"And changes are forthcoming in the NASCAR race schedule. I’m really excited about the night race in Atlanta. Let’s just hope, for safety’s sake, that the Russians are out of Georgia by next year."
9. Greg Biffle: Biffle finished a consistent yet quiet 11th in the Sharpie 500, one of five Roush Fenway cars in the top 12. He holds on to seventh in the points, 141 ahead of teammate David Ragan in 13th.
"Quiet and without fanfare is how I roll," says Biffle. "Was my name even mentioned on ESPN's broadcast? Whatever. As you may or may not know, I’m from Vancouver, Washington, in the Great Northwest, and home to Bigfoot, who, by the way, has been seen on video way more than myself."
10. (tie) Jeff Burton: Burton’s hopes of duplicating his spring Bristol victory were crushed when an accident on lap 195 knocked him out of the race. Burton had checked up to avoid the car of Sterling Marlin, sent spinning after contact with Tony Stewart, but was nailed from behind by Joe Nemechek. Burton finished 42nd, but remained fifth in the points.
"It wasn’t the ‘Harper Valley PTA,’" says Burton. "Instead, it was a ‘Thunder Valley DNF.’ But that’s life. C’est la vie. Pardon my French. That’s about as close as I’ll come to uttering a curse word. I’ve read the Tony Stewart story in Rolling Stone, and I was appalled. Not at Tony’s rated R lifestyle, but at all the things I’ve been missing in my G-rated career."
10. (tie) Denny Hamlin: A week after saying he "didn’t deserve to be in the Chase," Hamlin finished a strong third in Bristol to boost his Chase standing. Hamlin moved up one spot in the points to 11th, 57 ahead of David Ragan in 13th.
"You've got to love the teamwork shown when 160,000 fans in Bristol set a world record for the wave," says Hamlin. "It's amazing that 160,000 people can do one thing like that in unison. Not once, but twice. Later in the race, when I was holding up Kyle Busch's attempt to catch Carl Edwards, you could hear 160,000 people yelling at once, 'Let Busch pass, you idiot!' Make that 160,001 people. Joe Gibbs was saying the same thing. I guess they've got a point. Earlier in the year, at Richmond, I parked my car on the track in a ploy that allowed Kyle Busch to catch the leader in a race Busch almost won."
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