by Jeffrey Boswell  |  About The Author   |  Discuss

Jimmie Johnson: Johnson had his bid for three straight wins thwarted by Greg Biffle, who passed Johnson for the lead with 11 laps to go. Still, Johnson’s second-place was enough to put him on top of the point standings with Carl Edwards one race into the Chase.

"We're right where we need to be," says Johnson. "The Lowe’s team has the experience and the know-how to win a third Cup. I’m not sure Edwards is ready for the spotlight. Isn’t it obvious? Lowe’s specializes in hardware. Office Depot? Paper. Edwards is nothing more than a ‘paper champion.’”

Carl Edwards: With his times in early practice sessions slower than most of the field, Edwards got a break when rain washed out qualifying on Friday, and the grid was set based on the point standings. The #99 team made radical adjustments and nailed the setup, and Edwards was fast early, taking the lead on lap four and leading 61 on the day. He finished third, and is now tied with Jimmie Johnson atop the point standings.

"After practice," says Edwards, "I never expected a result as high as third. So, I'll take a third with a big smile on my face, and if anyone says that makes me look like Mr. Ed, then he should speak up, because I can't quite hear him all the way down there at seventh in the points. In the Chase, winning isn't everything. And Mr. Ed agrees when he says, 'whinning' isn't everything." 

Kyle Busch: Busch’s run for the Cup started in the worst possible way, as a broken heim joint early in the race left his #18 Joe Gibbs Toyota out of whack and lopsided. With his handling shot, Busch suffered several spins and ended his day 12 laps down in 34^th. He fell from first to eighth in the points, and now trails Carl Edwards and Jimmie Johnson by 74 points.

"Even car parts are entitled to their 15 minutes of fame," says Busch. "I doubt we’ll ever hear the words ‘heim joint’ again, unless some outlaw driver is busted smoking one in his car.”

Greg Biffle: Biffle got a leg up in New Hampshire and stuck his nose right in the middle of the Chase, winning the Sylvania 300. The win put Biffle only 30 points behind point co-leaders Jimmie Johnson and Carl Edwards, who finished second and third, respectively.

"I realize that Kurt Busch is the only driver to win the first Chase race and then win the Sprint Cup," says Biffle. "And he did it with Roush. We could have history repeating itself. You know, take away getting smacked by a handful of rival drivers, and take away cosmetic ear surgery, and I’ve got no problem aspiring to be like Kurt Busch.”

Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt led 79 laps, second only to Jimmie Johnson’s 96, and finished fifth in New Hampshire. At one point midway through the race, Earnhardt opened a near-four second lead on the field, but then saw his progress deterred by the #55 of Michael Waltrip. Earnhardt battled with Waltrip for over ten laps, which only added to his woes as the handling on the #88 Chevy deteriorated right on cue, mid-race.

"I checked the standings," says Earnhardt, "and Waltrip's 30th in the points and last in significance. But Waltrip’s the least of my worries. Once again, I started the race with a great car, and, once again, I didn’t end the race with a great car. I frustrated; I’ve got ground to make up. Now, if they gace bonus points for mid-race radio tantrums instead of wins, I’d be sitting pretty.”

Tony Stewart: Stewart ran in the top 10 for most of the day, but a mishap in the pits with the #70 car of Johnny Sauter caused damage that necessitated a return to the pits. Stewart was later was caught speeding on pit lane and fell to 35th, but recovered to salvage an eight-place finish in his final Chase as a Joe Gibbs driver. Next year, Joey Logano takes over in the #20 Home Depot Toyota.

"I'll be certain to leave a sachet in the #20," says Stewart, "to mask the smell of douchebag in there. There’s a lot of history in the Home Depot car, as well as a lot of food wrappers, odd smells, and other memories not fit for the virgin ears of an 18-year old. One things for sure: the maturity level of the #20 driver is soon to increase exponentially.”

Jeff Burton: Burton recorded his best finish since a third at Martinsville in March with a fourth in the Sylvania 300. Burton is now fourth in the point standings, 50 behind Jimmie Johnson and Carl Edwards.

"Haven't I been fourth in the points practically all year?" says Burton. "Can I win this Cup? Why not? I’ve paid my dues, at least to the National Geographic Society. I think I showed Sunday that the Jeff Burton during the Chase drives a little harder than the Jeff Burton prior to the Chase. Sure, I know Dale Earnhardt fans hate me, but at least I’m getting an emotional reaction from somebody’s fans, since my own fans don’t go to such lengths to make themselves known. I want other drivers to be aware that I won’t take any prisoners. If you see my #31 Richard Childress Chevy behind you, you’ll know I mean business, and you’re likely to see a new wireless phone carrier logo on my hood.”

Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished ninth in New Hampshire, right behind Joe Gibbs teammate Tony Stewart, as Kyle Busch struggled and tumbled seven places in the points from the top spot. Currently, Hamlin and Stewart are sixth and seventh in the points, respectively, with Hamlin 72 out of first.

"Poof! Just like that, I'm the top man at Joe Gibbs," says Hamlin. "It’s funny. I’m now the picture of resilience, just one short month after practically giving up on the season. Soon, I’ll be the elder stateman at Joe Gibbs Racing, a position that requires maturity. We all know Tony Stewart lacked maturity, but I’ve got no problem dating older women.”

Jeff Gordon: With the grid set according to the point standings, Gordon started tenth and was relegated to a pit stall adjacent to that of Robby Gordon. On at least two occasions, Gordon’s exit from his pit stall was hindered by Robby Gordon’s entrance into his. That problem, coupled with his usual handling issues, eventually left Gordon with a 14^th-place finish, and he is 11^th in the points, 99 out of first.

“I’m not sure I can tolerate having the same last name as Robby Gordon,” says Gordon. “That’s why I’m doing the only logical thing left to do: I’m chamging my last name to ‘Dos Quatro.’”

“I can sit here and complain about the Chase format all day because, Lord knows, it’s cost me Cup titles in years past. But I’m not complaining this year. To have the crappy season I’ve had and still be only 99 points out of first, well, you can’t beat that with a stick.”

Kevin Harvick: Harvick battled loose-handling conditions from the start of Sunday’s Sylvania 300, leading to a finish of tenth in round one of the Chase. Harvick’s Shell/Pennzoil Chevy improved on long runs, but the race’s eight cautions often negated that progress.

"Somebody please explain to me why Ron Hornaday was using testosterone," says Harvick. "As NASCAR’s unofficial spokesman on drug policy, I feel it’s my duty to speak on NASCAR’s behalf as to the dangers of testosterone usage. It can cause fits of rage and irrational thoughts. As the truck race at New Hampshire indicated, it looks like half the drivers in that series suffer from those problems.”

You can contact Jeffrey at jeffrey_boswell@yahoo.com

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