Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick passed Matt Kenseth with five laps left and took a pivotal win at New Hampshire, advancing to the next round of the Chase For The Cup.
“Our goal was to win the race,” Harvick said. “After a bad performance at Chicagoland, I knew we needed the victory to secure our spot in the next round. And I know exactly how to get in the right mindset to maximize performance. In addition to Brad Keselowski, I know how to ‘push’ myself, as well.”
2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished fourth in the Bad Boy Off Road 300 at Loudon. He is the leader in the Sprint Cup points standings by one over Martin Truex Jr.
“The ‘Bad Boy Off Road 300,’” Keselowski said. “That’s ‘BBOR’ for short. So, for any fan who experienced that race, they just watched the ‘B-BOR-ed 300.’”
3. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished seventh at New Hampshire, posting his 14th top 10 of the year.
“Kevin Harvick came on strong at the end,” Truex said. “I guess that’s why they call him the ‘Closer.’ Kevin may be a favorite to win the Sprint Cup, but he’s no one’s favorite. What he lacks in popularity, he makes up in talent. So that makes him the most talented driver in the world.”
4. Joey Logano: Logano came home 11th at New Hampshire and is now fifth in the points standings, 14 out of first.
“Barring disaster,” Logano said, “I should advance to the Chase’s next round. So, barring a ‘Matt Kenseth meltdown,’ I should advance to Round 2.”
5. Kyle Busch: Busch finished third at New Hampshire, posting his third consecutive top-10 result, and is now third in the points standings.
“After the next Chase race at Dover,” Busch said, “the Chase field will be trimmed to 12. ‘4’ is the number of drivers that will be eliminated. I’d like my chances more if the No. 4 car was eliminated.”
6. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished 15th at New Hampshire, the lowest finisher among all Joe Gibbs Racing drivers.
“JGR has four cars in the Chase,” Hamlin said, “but we’ve yet to win a Chase race. I’m going to change that. I’ve made it my mission to win at Dover. So, you can say I’m in the ‘mission-ary’ position.”
7. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth dominated the second half of the Bad Boy Off Raod 300, but faltered on a restart with five laps to go, allowing Kevin Harvick to slip by and take the win.
“That certainly was not my best restart,” Kenseth said. “Harvick laid back and got the jump. And, as Carl Edwards will tell you when somebody jumps, I flinch.”
8. Kurt Busch: Busch finished fifth in the Bad Boy Off Road 300, posting his seventh top five of the year. He is 11th in the Sprint Cup points standings, 20 out of first.
“My ex-girlfriend Patricia Driscoll was accused of stealing from her charity,” Busch said. “It must take a lot of nerve, to be a government assassin and steal from your own charity.”
9. Carl Edwards: Edwards started on the pole at Loudon and led 31 laps on his way to a sixth in the Bad Boy Off Road 300. He is ninth in the points standings, 19 out of first.
“That was my sixth pole of the season,” Edwards said. “So, much like former Cup champion Alan Kulwicki, I’ve taken a handful of ‘pole-ish’ victory laps.”
10. (tie): Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished eighth at New Hampshire and now sits eighth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 17 out of first.
“I failed the post-race laser inspection at Chicagoland,” Johnson said. “I miss the good old days of NASCAR when I was winning championships and inspections were simply done with a fine-toothed comb.”
10. (tie): Chase Elliott: Elliott finished 13th at New Hampshire and is ninth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 19 out of first.
“I’m in position to advance to the next round,” Elliott said. “I’m happy with my performance so far. I think I speak for myself, as well as any fan who meets me, when I say I’m happy with my ‘Chase experience.’”