The Final Word – A new season, new rules, new hopes, and new busty gals at Daytona

The sun was shining, at least on Sunday, the birds were singing, and joy was back in our hearts. A new NASCAR season is now upon us, and we could not be happier. We learned over the offseason that if a car gets too torn up that it cannot be fixed in five minutes on pit road using original pieces, other than tons of tape, its gets parked. We discovered that the runner-up in a race could wind up with less points than a car finishing 21st. The lesson there is, if you want to pick up extra points, do so while your car is in pristine condition. If it is wrecked, unlike Arnold Schwarzenegger, you won’t be back.

We still were learning things during the Clash at Daytona. Jimmie Johnson broke loose all on his lonesome and clipped Kurt Busch. It straightened out Johnson, but the Busch auto wound up crumpled like a mishandled can of baked beans. Later, Johnson broke loose again, and all he found this time was an inside wall to conclude his race. From what we heard from Johnson and commentator Dale Earnhardt Jr., the boys and girl might have a downforce problem to start the season. Good for fans who want the unexpected, but very bad for drivers.

We learned that for all the talk about how wonderful the new look Toyotas are, the competition still seems able to do the job. Joey Logano in a Ford won the Clash, though that was due to Denny Hamlin using his Toyota to block Brad Keselowski, sending both for an unexpected ride. When it came to qualifying, no Toyota up front. The Rick Hendrick duo of Chase Elliott and Earnhardt locked their Chevys into the front row come next Sunday.

We learned that teams should not send too many men over the wall. Kyle Larson’s team did, and Larson got parked late in the Clash. It appears undocumented folks going over the wall will not be tolerated in NASCAR either this season. In, fact, they did a little rewriting of their lawbooks. For example, where once we had multiple levels of infractions, now we shall have only two.

Level 1 misdeeds include failing weight, heights, or missing three lug nuts at the end, and that could cost up to 40 points, a three-race holiday for a crew chief, and a $75,000 donation. Level 2, which is more a capital offense, includes targeting traction control, tire manipulation, and illegal testing. Seventy-five points, a six-race vacation for the crew chief and others involved, and up to a $200,000 financial slap. It appears NASCAR is going all Carrie Underwood on them. You know, “Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats.”

We learned that if there is a chance a driver got his bell rung, he or she will spend some time with the medics. That goes for all cars having to head to the garage, on a hook or not. After Junior missed half of last season due to a concussion, maybe you could call it the “Earnhardt Rule.” It is a step forward to better ensure even our favorites have to sit if their health is in jeopardy.

We learned that some NASCAR fans do not like to see busty women wearing leather outfits in Victory Lane. I noticed one in the background behind Logano on Sunday, but I guess I did not get a real good look at her. After reading the complaints, I went searching. I mean, what kind of journalist would I be without doing some due diligence? Okay, the Monster Energy girls are not dressed to impress the Amish, but as long as they do not go around carrying whips and promoting any shades of a certain movie franchise, I’m cool.

I’m cool with sitting back and taking in the action for this Thursday’s Duels. Hopefully, they will attract a hell of a lot more than the estimated “crowd” of 15,000 that turned out last Sunday. With all but two of the cars locked into the Daytona 500, it might not produce the most intense action ever, but there are points to be awarded to the Top Ten in each of the heats this year. Just think about it. My fellow Canadian D.J. Kennington could not only race his way into the Daytona 500, but he could wind up being the co-leader in points come next Sunday.

I am sure enjoying my new meds.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of SpeedwayMedia.com

Ron Thornton
Ron Thornton
A former radio and television broadcaster, newspaper columnist, Little League baseball coach, Ron Thornton has been following NASCAR on this site since 2004. While his focus may have changed over recent years, he continues to make periodic appearances only when he has something to say. That makes him a rather unique journalist.

2 COMMENTS

  1. If they keep manipulating the “requirements” to be in the Clash so popular but less than average drivers are eligible, they may one day look back fondly at 15,000 fans attending the race. If they keep manipulating the rules to get drivers who have an accident off the track for the rest of the race, they may have a traffic jam in the parking lot (if there are enough people even there) when a fan favorite driver is eliminated from the race early. I can also see sponsors dropping like flies when their sponsored car is no longer on the track to promote their products. An accident prone driver may not be able to find any sponsor.

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