Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Kyle Busch: Busch started second at Pocono and led 79 laps on his way to the win in the Pocono 400. It was Busch’s fourth win of the season.
“That was my 55th Cup win,” Busch said. “That ties me with Rusty Wallace for ninth on the all-time list. Rusty is a NASCAR legend. Anytime I’m on any list alongside Rusty Wallace, I’m thrilled unless that list is Ryan Newman’s ‘S’ list.”
2. Joey Logano: Logano finished seventh at Pocono as Penske Racing placed two cars in the top 10.
“Penske Racing is still riding high from Josef Newgarden’s win in the Indianapolis 500 on May 26th,” Logano said. “Unfortunately, as the last two races suggest, Joe Gibbs Racing has been drinking our milk.”
3. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski took second at Pocono, posting his sixth top five of the season.
“There was no catching Kyle Busch,” Keselowski said. “I was on his bumper one second; the next second, he was gone. Usually, when I say ‘Kyle Busch is out of my life,’ it brings me immense joy. Not so in this case.”
4. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex’s engine expired on Lap 91, ending his day at Pocono. He finished 35th and is seventh in the Monster Energy Cup points standings.
“What’s something that blew up at Pocono?” Truex said. “My engine. What’s something that didn’t blow up at Pocono? Television ratings for the race.”
5. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished fourth at Pocono, posting his fifth consecutive top-five finish, the longest streak of his career.
“Hendrick Motorsports still only has one win all season,” Elliott said. “Sure, it doesn’t stack up to Joe Gibbs Racing’s nine wins, or Penske Racing’s four, but Rick Hendrick told us not to be discouraged, and to look for motivation in the ‘small victories.'”
6. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished sixth at Pocono as Joe Gibbs Racing teammates Kyle Busch and Erik Jones finished first and third, respectively.
“I ended a streak of four consecutive finishes of 15th or worse,” Hamlin said. “I’m happy because the last thing I want to be is the low man on the totem pole at JGR. To avoid that, I simply have to keep up with the ‘Jones’s.'”
7. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 11th at Pocono.
“My little brother Kyle won the race,” Busch said, “in a car sponsored by ‘Hazelnut Spread M&M’s.’ That’s amazing. I think there are now more types of M&M’s than there were passes for the lead on Sunday.”
8. Kevin Harvick: Harvick was in contention late at Pocono before a penalty for an uncontrolled tire ruined his day. Things got even worse when mechanical problems arose soon after the penalty.
“I was driving the Busch beer ‘Millennial’ car,” Harvick said. “Any rational observer would have thought Kyle Busch was driving the ‘Millennial’ car, what with the ‘Hazelnut Spread M&M’s’ logo splashed across it.”
9. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer came home fifth in the Pocono 400, scoring his fifth top five of the season.
“I’m pleased with our result,” Bowyer said. “The only person I wanted to punch after this race was the NASCAR official who implemented this rules package.”
10. Alex Bowman: Bowman finished 15th at Pocono and is now 11th in the Monster Energy Cup points standings.
“My Hendrick teammate William Byron won his second consecutive pole,” Bowman said. “That gives Hendrick a series-best six poles. So, our history of qualifying is sterling, but our history of winning is checkered.”