Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin won the Hollywood Casino 400 at Kansas in a cut-off race that narrowed the field to eight drivers.
“Anytime it’s an elimination race,” Hamlin said, “things can get crazy. So, even though this race was sponsored by Hollywood Casino, ‘all bets were off.'”
2. Kyle Busch: Busch took third in the Hollywood Casino 400 at Kansas.
“This is the time of year when pressure builds,” Busch said. “That was evident in Saturday’s Xfinity race when Daniel Hemric and Cole Custer were involved in an altercation. Things got physical, and a little sexy, because the ‘fight’ was really just a very intense hug.”
3. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished sixth in the Hollywood Casino 400 and joins Joe Gibbs Racing teammates Kyle Busch and Denny Hamlin in the Playoff Round of 8.
“It’s me, Denny, and Kyle,” Truex said. “Some people would call that ‘Two Men And A Baby.'”
4. Kevin Harvick: Inspection issues forced Harvick to start 40th but he worked his way through the field to post a ninth. He heads to Round 3 of the Playoffs in fifth, 18 out of first.
“I didn’t even get to qualify,” Harvick said. “But there’s something cool about starting at the back of the field. Starting at the ‘ass-end’ of the field, you get a true perspective of the ‘ass-end’ of talent in this series.”
5. Kyle Larson: Larson finished 14th in the Hollywood Casino 400 and is seventh in the Playoff points standings, 35 out of first.
“I had a run-in with the lapped car of Joey Gase,” Larson said. “He was in my way and I needed to be somewhere, so I moved him. It’s football season so I gave Joey the ‘punt, the pass, and the kick (to the curb).'”
6. Joey Logano: Logano survived a late accident and slide through the grass to finish 17th at Kansas and advanced to the Round of 8, where he’ll be the sole representative of Penske Racing.
“I feel like it’s me against the world,” Logano said. “So, I’m gonna go out there and be a ‘world beater.’ Unfortunately, no one will care, because the general opinion of me is a ‘world of indifference.'”
7. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished second at Kansas which was good enough to secure the final playoff spot.
“That was close,” Elliott said, “and I get the cigar. And, as the kids say, it was ‘lit.'”
8. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished 21st at Kansas and heads to Martinsville eighth in the Playoff points standings.
“I’m last among the eight drivers in the Playoff field,” Blaney said. “I feel like I’m the forgotten driver in the Playoffs. But I very well could quietly sneak in and eliminate the rest of the field. Then you could call me ‘champion,’ and Kurt Busch could call me ‘assassin.'”
9. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished 18th at Kansas and narrowly missed advancing to the next round of the Playoffs.
“Had a late caution came out just a fraction of a second later,” Keselowski said, “I’d be in the Playoff field. But we all know NASCAR wanted that extra restart. I’d like a do-over because I have some ‘un-finish-ed’ business I’d like to take care of.”
10. William Byron: Byron finished fifth at Kansas and failed to make the Playoff Round of 8.
“You probably heard about the flock of birds flying into the NASCAR Hall Of Fame,” Byron said. “I guess they really wanted to get in. But come on birds, show some manners. Don’t you know, ‘Birds of a feather knock together.'”