Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Kyle Busch: Busch finished 2nd at Kansas and cruised into Round 3 of the NASCAR playoffs.
“I basically just had to avoid disaster at Kansas,” Busch said. “And that means I just had to keep my mouth shut.”
2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished 12th at Kansas and advanced to Round 3 of the playoffs.
“There was very little excitement in Sunday’s race,” Harvick said. “Heck, I was driving, and I was bored. For the fans, it must have been like watching paint dry. For drivers, it was like watching paint schemes dry.”
3. Chase Elliott: Elliott held off the charging Kyle Busch to win the Hollywood Casino 400 at Kansas.
“I was still riding high off my win at Dover,” Elliott said. “But winning again is awesome. I’m still riding high, and looking for more. If you didn’t think a NASCAR driver could get any higher, you don’t know Chase Elliott or Jeremy Mayfield.”
4. Aric Almirola: Almirola finished 10th at Kansas, posting the best finish among Stewart-Haas Racing drivers.
“My spot in Round 3 was already clinched,” Almirola said, “so I was looking ahead to Martinsville. In an elimination race, it’s cool to be able to look through your windshield, and not through your rear-view mirror.”
5. Kurt Busch: Busch finished a safe 18th in the Hollywood Casino 400. He is one of four Stewart-Haas Racing driver in the Round Of 8.
“The wind was a factor in Sunday’s race,” Busch said. “That’s why you heard a lot of drivers, especially those in danger of not advancing, saying, ‘Don’t blow this.'”
6. Joey Logano: Logano started on the pole at Kansas and finished eighth, and will be one of eight drivers advancing to Round 3.
“No one came out of nowhere to advance to the next round,” Logano said. “So there were no Cinderella stories. And no fairy tales. The only person telling ‘tales’ in NASCAR is Brian France pleading innocent.”
7. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex started 12th and finished 5th at Kansas, easily advancing to Round 3 of the playoffs.
“I didn’t want to take anything for granted,” Truex said. “You never know when the unexpected could happen, leaving you out of the playoffs, or a job.”
8. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer finished 13th and is on to Round 3 of the playoffs.
“We had a stray tire get away that nearly cost us a penalty,” Bowyer said. “That could have been disastrous had it prevented me from advancing. Luckily, NASCAR deemed it not a penalty. I guess NASCAR had a reason, but they actually decided to show some reason.”
9. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished sixth at Kansas but it wasn’t enough and he failed to advance to the next round of the playoffs.
“I was close,” Keselowski said, “but close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and that time Matt Kenseth won the championship.”
10. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished seventh at Kansas and missed advancing by one spot.
“I battled for the lead early in the race,” Blaney said, “so things were good. If someone would have asked me how things were going, I would have said, ‘They were going, going, gone.'”