Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Kyle Busch: Busch held off Martin Truex Jr. down the stretch at Homestead to win the Monster Energy Cup title, his second championship.
“I’m the Monster Energy Cup champion,” Busch said. “That bears repeating because I just repeated as champion. At what better place than the site of the Ford EchoBoost 400 to say it again?”
2. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished second at Homestead, but left asking ‘What might have been?’ after a pit road error in which his crew switched his left-front and right-front tires.
“That’s an inexcusable mistake,” Truex said. “It basically cost me the championship. I’m of good mind to take a ‘switch’ to the crew members responsible.”
3. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin’s day at Homestead was marred by an overheating issue that necessitated an unscheduled pit stop. Hamlin never could get back into contention and finished 10th.
“We tried a bold aerodynamic move,” Hamlin said, “by placing tape on the front of the No. 11 FedEx Camry. We went for ‘broke,’ and you could say, unfortunately, that it worked all too well.”
4. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished fourth at Homestead as Kyle Busch took the championship.
“We were great on short runs,” Harvick said, “but struggled on the long runs. So, in the long run, we came up short.”
5. Joey Logano: Logano finished fifth at Homestead, posting his 12th top-five of the season.
“It sucked not being able to defend my championship,” Logano said. “In other words, it sucked to be me.”
6. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished 11th in the Ford EcoBoost 400.
“Congratulations to Kyle Busch,” Blaney said. “He’s lucky to be champion. If Martin Truex Jr.’s crew knows left from right, Kyle’s probably not champion. In the end, what’s left is Kyle is the rightful champion.”
7. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer finished sixth in the Ford EcoBoost 400.
“We’re all looking forward to the off-season,” Bowyer said. “Take this as a public service announcement if you like, but I’m looking forward to drinking and not driving.”
8. Alex Bowman: Bowman finished ninth at Homestead, the best result among Hendrick Motorsports drivers.
“I feel bad for Martin Truex Jr.,” Bowman said. “He should be champion. But let’s not be too hard on his crew team. They are all a bunch of good guys who do things the right way. They know right from wrong, just not right from left.”
9. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished 18th at Homestead.
“Kyle Busch is still an ‘ass,'” Keselowski said, “because he really ‘ass-erted’ himself at Homestead. Now, he has ‘ass’-econd Cup championship.”
10. Chase Elliott: Elliott took 15th in the Ford EcoBoost 400.
“Even though we didn’t finish strong,” Elliott said, “I’m confident in our prospects next year. I’m hungry, the car and engine program are solid, and my crew knows a left front tire from a right front tire.”